Turning 61
I turned 61 earlier this year.
I love this season of my life…filled with grandchildren and fewer, closer friends and, hopefully, a bit more wisdom. I love being married to my husband now for 43 years and enjoying all the bounty that the longevity of our relationship brings to our lives. I love being old enough to have learned there is nothing to prove to anyone.
I suppose I should be slowing down, reading more, sleeping later, traveling…
But I have found myself launching out on several “new” things this year. I did not really PLAN to…but being led by the Spirit will bring you into some surprising places, at times.
I started a venue business—The Outpost at Heritage Farm.
My husband and I began to open some new ministry streams through Heritage House Ministries.
I started The Learning Center at Heritage Farm, a place for children to learn and be celebrated outside the institutions of government education.
We have expanded our farming endeavors in such a way that we can involve those who come after us, if they choose to go down that path.
And the commitment we have always had to help our children and grandchildren get established and fulfill THEIR dreams has added some beautiful responsibilities, as well.
Just to name a few…
But strangely, it was when my husband began to construct a greenhouse for me—about which I had dreamed for a very long time—that I found myself in a bit of a panic.
I woke up one morning and thought: What am I doing? I am too old to start all these new endeavors. I should be slowing down, not adding additional responsibilities to my plate.
Yep, panic is the best word for what I felt.
What am I doing?
I’m too old for all this.
What if I fail?
I lived with these private thoughts for a while…and I confess, they still waft across my mind on occasion…
But Father Yahweh, in His kindness and grace and patience began to communicate HIS heart to me…and to remind me that HE numbers our days and HE orders our steps and HE leads us by His Spirit in us. And where HE leads…HE provides.
I found myself remembering something I heard—and even spoke—when I was a younger woman and perhaps did not pay enough attention to it: The vision He puts in our hearts will always be multi-generational…and we should leave this place without ever seeing the full completion of it.
As always, His ways are 180* opposite of what “culture” teaches us. Sadly, our culture glories mostly in youth and new and shiny things. We must be “hip” to be relevant in any way. Once you pass 55-62, you’ve outlived your usefulness.
What a sad, sad thing…
I began to think about a Bible Story in a new way. I’m going to tell it to you in my words…but you can find it in Genesis 18 if you’d like a more scholarly version.
One day, Abraham was sitting in the door of his tent. He was old…like, almost-one-hundred-years-old old. It was a hot day, but there was a breeze. He was wearing his everyday tunic and had laid his headcloth aside, as he was enjoying the shade of his tent and the breeze that often came across the plains of Mamre. He had experienced a lot. Much of his journey had been marked with difficulty and conflict. But he had also experienced a lot of success and had gained a lot of wealth along the way. He had left his home-country to expand and explore the lands around him, moving his home several times along the way, until he had come to THE place destined for him. He had defeated the five kings, gotten his nephew Lot established on his own land, entered a pretty intense covenant with Yahweh, Himself, and he had meet Melchizedek along the way…sharing bread and wine with this manifestation of Christ. Pretty cool stuff, if you ask me…
So, he was sitting…on a goat-skinned stool…after the midday meal. Maybe he had enjoyed mutton with onions and leeks, or cucumbers with hummus. Maybe he was served a simple bread drizzled with honey…But he was sitting in the doorway of his tent. He was content.
He was settled in…living in a place called Mamre, which means strength and abundance.
He had seen good days, and bad ones…as we all do. And perhaps as he was sitting there in the doorway of his tent, on that goat-skin stool eating from the fruit of his labor, he was thinking about that…Maybe he was feeling joyful about the amazing testimony His relationship with Yahweh had brought, or maybe he was feeling sad about the mistakes he had made, or about the fact that he and Sarah still had no children.
He was a man. He was an old man. His dark skin was even more darkened by his travels, his long hair had thinned and faded, his beard was a bit scruffy and gray. His slim face was lined with experience, but his dark brown eyes were sharp. And those eyes had seen plenty…and if he had just sat there…on that goat-skin stool, we would still be reading about him in our Bibles.
But there was a breeze…so he sat there, looking, listening, thinking…
And then, Abraham looked up…and he saw standing under the terebinth tree the LORD…in the presence of three beings. And when he did…he did not hesitate. He did not rub his eyes for clarity. He did not call out for confirmation of the nature of these visitors, he did not need a life-coach or a worship-leader.
Abraham RAN to meet the God he loved…in whatever way He was presenting Himself.
He did not count the cost or call for back-up or wait to see what might happen next…
He RAN…
This old man had faith like a child…eyes full of wonder…a heart set on pleasing His Father…NO.MATTER.WHAT.
The old man ran…
Of course, now we know the rest of the story…and all that this response benefited Abraham; benefited us all, really.
But when he stood up off that goat-skin stool and RAN without one moment’s hesitation, he had no idea what would happen next.
He just ran…
So, my friends, if you resonate with this story, as I do…and you are sitting in the land of strength and abundance, or maybe you are pondering with sadness mistakes made or promises yet unfulfilled...maybe regret is whispering in the deepest places…
Maybe you are buying up the lie that you are TOO OLD…that is it TOO LATE…that you should just LEAVE ALL THIS TO THE YOUNGER ONES…maybe you are still faithful to your beliefs, but it’s been a long time since you’ve actually taken a LEAP OF FAITH…please be reminded today…
Whatever YOUR goat-skin stool might be…wherever YOU are seated at this time in your life…
Old men still run…
Old women still run…
The ONLY way the fullness of Yahweh’s plan in the earth through Christ will be fulfilled is generationally.
We older ones have something to contribute that NO other age-group can bring.
And He is still presenting Himself to us, to share His heart, to put His work in our hands, to stir our hearts to fellowship and communion and worship.
So, wipe the sand from your eyes, let the tears wash away the cloudiness, and when He presents Himself to you under your terebinth tree, don’t let ANYBODY tell you that you are too old.
Just get up and run…
(Love y’all. I’ll be in the greenhouse…)